Domestic ABUSE is sadly a worrying part of our society, with countless women, men and children impacted by its effects.
Such violence can happen regardless of age, gender, social class, ethnicity, disability or lifestyle. For example, research has shown that approximately one in four women in Northern Ireland have experienced – or currently experience – domestic violence.
Women’s Aid Fermanagh works with domestic abuse victims. One service user of Women’s Aid has bravely shared her story, below, with The Impartial Reporter as part of its ‘Let’s Talk’ campaign.
I SAT on my coach numb, my head feeling disconnected from my body, sometimes because of alcohol or medication, or both.
The pain was numbing me; it was easy to cut myself off and convince myself it was my fault. I was terrified that anyone would find out why I really had not been seen out in years.
It took me years to lift the phone, terrified that the person on the other end would know me. I stared at the phone number for months, but to this day I am thankful that I did lift the phone. The wee gem who came to my door was just that – a ‘wee gem’.
She was totally professional in her manner, attitude and presentation. From the offset, this was evident from the moment I opened my front door and she smiled and showed me her identification badge.
Spending time with her in the safety of my home was just what I needed. Once she felt I was strong enough, she encouraged me to join what she called ‘the journey to freedom’.
Again, I was terrified who might be in the group – I really was scared, thinking: ‘Will I know them? Will they know me?’
But the emphasis of confidentiality was echoed around the room every week, and understanding that every lady in the room was feeling similar to me, it soon became our safety hub.
My ‘wee gem’, along with Women’s Aid, and their successful journey to freedom step definitely saved my life.
It helped me to understand that it’s not my fault to be an empathic person, with so much love and care to offer people that people take advantage.
But it is my responsibility to protect myself and my child from predators. Women’s Aid, along with my ‘wee gem’, have been a massive stepping stone for me, and with the organisation being the first step, it definitely was the biggest stone to step onto.
I am still on my journey, but feeling much happier and much freer, and although I am still in therapy, I now know that I am on the right path, and I will get there, and I will be back to being ‘me’ again.
Those who have suffered at the abuse and hands of predators understand Women’s Aid, their work and their ethos, and I always say ‘You have to go through it to understand it’.
Forget those who judge – if they don’t have the manners to ask, but yet do judge because they don’t understand, ignore them. Instead, talk to like-minded people. They are our kindred folk, and you will find them in the Safe Hands Centre in Darling Street, Enniksillen.
Trust in that blue door; it’s the doorway to your ‘jurney to freedom’.
The rest of your life is behind the big blue door – all you have to do is open it.
Fermanagh Women’s Aid can be contacted at 028 6632 8898. Its opening hours are Monday to Thursday, 9am to 5pm; Friday, 9am to 4pm; closed for lunch. 1 to 2pm.
You can contact a 24-hour Freephone Domestic and Sexual Violence Helpline (managed by Nexus NI) at: 0808 802 1414.
Contact the Police in an emergency at 999.
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