STEPHEN McKinney, the father of two who is accused of murdering his wife while their two children slept during a family boating holiday four years ago, told police he will never accept he'd lost everything – his best friend, his wife, his soul mate, the mother of his children.

The 44-year-old said after the death of his 35-year-old wife, Lu Na, he went for bereavement counselling as he couldn't come to terms with his loss, and because he couldn't piece together what occurred that night.

McKinney, now with an address in Castletown Square, Fintona in Tyrone, denies murdering Lu Na, whose body was pulled from the water near Devenish Island on Lower Lough Erne on April 13, 2017.

On Monday, June 28, the Dungannon Crown Court jury of eight men and four women heard details of his continuing police interviews following his arrest nearly eight months later on suspicion of murder.

Transcripts of the interviews were read to the court again in tandem by junior prosecution counsel and the detectives who conducted them at Omagh police station.

McKinney, originally from Strabane but who lived with his family in Convoy, Co Donegal, revealed he was seeing a counsellor in Letterkenny when asked about what occurred on the hire-cruiser that fateful night.

He said everything was "a haze" and while he was "trying to remember every specific detail ... it's like I don't know ... it's like a jigsaw".

McKinney said while he wanted to "piece it together", at the same time he didn't want to, and his mind was "just not clear".

He then told detectives he'd "lost my best friend ... my wife, the mother of my children, but she was my best friend and I don't know if I'll get over that – I have cried for months and months, every single day".

Asked about what his wife was wearing and what happened, he initially said every time he thought back on what happened it was of "Lu Na falling into the water ... that's the only picture I've got ... there's no other picture in my mind".

McKinney said he knew his wife was wearing a coat, but can't remember anything else, save "Lu Na falling ... nothing else".

Repeatedly asked where and how his wife fell, and what did she fall into, McKinney maintained all he could remember was "just Lu Na falling, nothing else ... just falling like there's no space ... just falling, falling in blackness".

McKinney said this was all he could recall, no sound, or anything else about his wife falling, and that was one of the reasons he was in counselling, to try and help him put things together in his mind.

Later, he went on to describe how he'd two images in his mind, all mixed up, that there was "no boat, no lake ... just blackness" and he can't even see his wife's face, but know's it is her, that he's "scared" of looking in case he sees her face, something he can't live with.

McKinney said when he sees "the image" of his wife falling he closes his eyes and "looks away" as he does not want to see her fall.

At various points, detectives tell him they know it must be upsetting but they needed him to speak up so his voice could be caught on tape.

He said that at times it is Lu Na who was falling, and then he has an image of himself in the water, then under the water and looking back up, and there is "nothing ... there's nothing there ... I just see water".

However, on other occasions, he sees his wife falling and tells police that "it's just mixed up".

McKinney, who added later "the logical head knows it's not right", said this was one of the reasons he sees a therapist every week, and that he can't even remember jumping into the lake himself, but still has an image of being in the lough.

In a further interview, McKinney said he remembers "the feeling of happiness" when he believed he overheard police and RNLI rescuers saying that Lu Na was "okay", but that he wasn't allowed off the boat to get to her.

He said his wife was taken off to hospital, and when he and the children were taken in a second ambulance he thought they were going to pick her up: "I had a scary but happy feeling ... scary because of everything that happened, but happy because we were going to see Lu Na".

However, later, when a doctor gave him "the message that Lu Na was dead", he could not believe it because in his mind he had heard "she was okay".

"I still cannot believe it ... it's been seven months and two weeks and I can't accept it ... I never will," said McKinney before telling detectives he still looks for his wife everywhere, and he "never will" accept she is gone.

The trial continues.