A 28-year-old woman who will never walk again following a fatal crash that claimed the lives of two of her friends and saw another one sentenced to over five years in prison has spoken about the “raw” emotions she has felt ever since the court case about the crash ended in April.
Shiva Devine and Conall McAleer died in the 2018 crash in Bundoran and Joseph Gilroy, the driver of the car was sent to prison while Rachel Elliott was left in a wheelchair.
Speaking publicly for the first time since the court case, Rachel says the months since then have been the hardest of her life as she still struggles to deal with all that has happened and how she hopes one day she will able to be happy in herself once again.
Rachel also told this newspaper how the simple act of going to the hairdressers twice a week has been a huge support for her.
“Since April, that has probably been my hardest time I have not been coping very well,” said Rachel.
“I’m devastated that Joe got five years because, at the end of the day, he’s a friend of mine, it was our own choice to get into the car. But I suppose I’m just wracked with guilt, because he is inside, that that’s somebody son at the end of today.”
With a decline in her mental health, Rachel has sought the help of the mental health team as she finds it hard to control her emotions, whether it be happy or sad and she is feeling the benefit of it in recent weeks.
Three years have passed since that fatal night and while she admits she will never forget about that day, Rachel is looking to try and get some sort of normality back into her life, if not for her own sake, for the sake of her son.
“I feel like I always want to talk about it. But at the end of the day, I need to try and move on from that, but I’m really struggling.
“I want to try and deal with it for the sake of my son, because, you know, about three weeks ago, I just was like the only person keeping me here is my son.
“And I just thought to myself, I want to be happy again, I want to be happy in life. I want to be happy within myself, but just from the court, everything has resurfaced. I suppose now, it’s probably rawer than it’s ever been, you know, listening to the facts and because we were all friends.”
One of the things which are helping Rachel to cope is a visit to Becky McClaughry’s Hairdressing in Irvinestown twice a week.
“I’ll never forget, I was having a really bad day and Becky was like, do me a favour and come in and I’ll do your hair. And ever since if I go in, whether I’m crying, whether, my humour’s really down, she has been not just a hairdresser but a really good friend.
“You go in there and she would make time to come over and chat to you. She’s just such a big support through, like, everything in my life.
“All the girls in the team they’re all so supportive.”
Recently Becky has moved her salon to premises which are more wheelchair accessible. A disabled toilet and a basin which is a standalone sink so wheelchair users do not have to get out of their chair have been added.
Speaking to Becky about the positive effect just going to her salon has on Rachel she said: “I just thought when I was making the move I would be mad not to do it.
“We would be very much as a salon that would be the way we work. All our clients are our friends we have good bonds with everybody and it is a comfortable place for everyone.”
Rachel said she has noticed an improvement in her mood since going to see a counsellor and knows that it’s okay not to be okay. But it is small steps for her as tries to make her way in life.
“I’ve just lost my own positivity. And I just knew that I needed help. I’d never actually realised how much I needed help until after the court, I just was a mess. I would say it’s just this week that my humour has got better. But I just was at rock bottom and I just thought am I ever gonna get out of this?”
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules here