A Fermanagh born priest has reflected on his role at the infamous Holy Cross dispute in Ardoyne, North Belfast and the toll it and other events took on his mental health.
Father Gary Donegan, a native of Newtownbutler was transferred from the Graan Monastery to Holy Cross in 2001 shortly before the dispute broke out in the summer of 2001 continuing into the autumn term. 


He spoke candidly to this newspaper about how the events of the Holy Cross dispute and other events during his time as a priest in Ardoyne impacted his mental health. 
He said: “It was the long term and later on the effects that came out for me many years later, it wasn’t just Holy Cross, it was a combination of the suicides and the murders and everything I had seen, that seven years ago I was diagnosed with a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I was in the States.”
Fr. Gary has remained relatively silent on the dispute, he told this newspaper that he chose not to speak out at the 10 year anniversary, fearing it would inflame tensions. He has now made the decision to speak about the events he witnessed.


It was with sadness, Fr. Gary recalled how he missed his friend Francis Farrell’s funeral as it was the first day he and  the rector of Holy Cross Parish Father Aidan Troy walked the girls of the Holy Cross Girls School to school escorted by Police. 
Reflecting on the period, Father Gary said: “It was the nature of it, children had been kept out of it largely [The Troubles], they were sacrosanct.”
Speaking of the events he said: “We were going from 5.30 or 6 in the morning to 2am. We lived on a diet of black coffee, bacon butties and Cooper’s cough medicine, a medicine made by a local chemist
“Watching what happened was traumatic. On the third day (September 5), the pipe bomb was thrown, and it was probably the worst, as I thought we were going to lose a child, it was only after it I realised how traumatic it was, in the middle of it you have to keep going.”

‘People fall apart’
Speaking on the impact of the wider community, he said: “At the time, you saw people fall apart in front of you, I also saw people rise to the occasion that they were incredible, and their courage was beyond the beyond and I saw the best and the worst of people and that was from all sides. One of the things I remember was there were people from the PUL side saying, ‘this was wrong and they are not representative of us.’” 
Father Gary is now based in Tobar Mhuire retreat in Crossgar, Co Down but travels every day to the Passionist Peace and Reconciliation Office on the Antrim Road. He is still involved with the community of families he met during the Holy Cross period.
He said: “I have done a couple of the weddings of the girls, the youngest of them would now be 24 and the oldest of them would be 31. Unfortunately, I have a couple of the mothers’ funerals who couldn’t handle what had happened and they became involved in addiction. Ironically the daughter, she was able to bear the pain of all of that, but the Mammy couldn’t.”

Proud people
The people of Ardoyne are close to Father Gary’s heart. He said: “There is nobody more proud of being a Fermanagh man than me but I am very much an adopted son in Ardoyne, they would give you the bit out of their mouth. They are an incredible people. You hear a lot of derogatory comments about the area and ‘The Ardoyne’ but it’s not ‘The Ardoyne’, it’s Ardoyne and they are a very proud people, and I am very proud to be associated with them.”