Local people who have lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death have come together in recent times in Fermanagh to provide support for each other.

SANDS in Enniskillen provide massive support for those who use the service, and through this group a local football team was created – Sands United FC – for dads, grandads, brothers, uncles and close friends who have lost a child.

As well as the new football team, work by Geraldine Lavelle and SANDS in Enniskillen, Fermanagh and Omagh District Councillors voted unanimously to get the Council to look at opening a Garden of Reflection in memory of infants from the district who have passed away.

Delighted

The proposal was brought by Independent Councillor Eamon Keenan after Geraldine got in touch with him. Councillor Keenan was delighted to help out. and also that his proposal received unanimous support in the Chamber.

Geraldine and her family lost their son, Bobby, in 2017, and SANDS were there for them when they needed it.

She thought it would be a good idea to have a place in the Council area for people to go and reflect in peace about their loved ones.

“They have them [such places] up the country, but they don’t have any here in Fermanagh, and they are going to do one in Omagh as well. It will be nice to have in the community,” Geraldine said.

“I contacted Eamon at the start and he thought this would be something that would be good in the Fermanagh area and everyone supported it, which was great.”

Having been involved with SANDS and seeing the work they do to help families, for Geraldine it was nice to be a part of this and help move it closer to fruition.

And she hopes it will be a place where anyone can go and reflect when it opens.

For now, preparation is being put in place for a family fun day this month, June, to raise funds for the garden while it is hoped there will be some artwork from local school children as part of it as well.

And from the silence of the Garden of Reflection, the hustle and bustle of football with Sands United FC is another part of the community here in the Fermanagh in which those affected are providing support for one another.

Dean Merrett, who lost his son, Evan, in 2012, set up the team in February after seeing similar teams taking off in England and across other towns and cities in Northern Ireland.

After a conversation with his wife, Frances, he “put the feelers out”. He said: “When [the loss of a child] happens to yourself, you hear about all these different people it has happened to. And I talked to Frances and said, ‘Will I get this team up and going?’ and she said just do it.

“We put the feelers out and I sent messages, and when we started the first training session, we had eight of us.

“But then more and more people started contacting us, and now we have 23.”

And it does not matter the skill level, Dean said those in attendance are just happy to be there.

“There are boys there that have never kicked a ball but they are just happy to be there as part of a team of daddies that have been through the same thing. Just that hour away to come together and have a kickabout [means so much to them].

Support

“14 of us there are dads that have lost babies. It’s hard for a man to talk, for a man was always there to support the wife, but who was looking after him?

“Guys who have come up to me and had a one-to-one chat said they were so glad of it because it is somewhere they can go and have that chat, and just be with boys and you are not going to be judged. Everyone is there to support each other.”

With the team going from strength to strength, funding and sponsorship for kits and equipment are the next things for them as they look to organise matches against other SANDS teams across the North.

They have held out playing these games as they were told by others it would give them “a sense of pride and joy” to play wearing a jersey with their baby’s name on it.

But while they wait for that day to come, Dean said the club is open for those who want to join.

“We are a team; we don’t want to be in [the situation we’re in], but we are. You are not picked, you are chosen. And there is always a place for somebody.”

You can get in touch with Sands United FC through their Facebook page, look for the tag Sands United FC Enniskillen.