One of the last places Brendan O’Dufaigh saw his only son alive was on the pitch at Brewster Park, having captained the Monaghan Under-20s team to an Ulster final on the evening of July 16, 2021 just hours beforehand.

Recalling that evening in Brewster, Brendan said: “I remember a number [of people] went out to approach him, and I wouldn’t like to be in his way, so I didn’t go on the field, and I thought, ‘I’ll see him back at the house in an hour or two’.

“But I remember neighbours – I can see them yet – approaching him, going out on the field. I thought about going out and I thought, ‘No, I’ll not, I’ll let him be and leave him to others for the minute’.”

Tragically, it was a meeting between the father and son that was never to be, as Brendan ‘Ógie’ O’Dufaigh (19) was killed just hours later in a car accident

Brendan returned to Enniskillen this week to speak at the annual Novena of Hope held at the Graan, and he spoke at length about his late son as he reflected on his topic, ‘Hope is learning through the pain of loss’.

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In an interview with this newspaper, Brendan spoke of his son with deep love.

He talked about a mischievous son who was “a divil at times”, but more so he spoke of a teenager who was developing into a fine young man.

It is clear that Ógie was someone who respected others, and stood up for others, no matter the cost.

After his talk in the Graan, Brendan was approached by a number of people, many of whom knew the universal pain of loss.

He said: “It’s [loss] a big issue for a lot of people; I’m delighted that through the Graan, at their novena, that they are addressing it.

“There are very few families not hit or struck by some loss. Our loss was more public and open – we got media coverage, but for others, it’s much more private but their soul [of the deceased] and their lives are just as important.”

When asked by this newspaper what he would say to others dealing with the pain of grief, Brendan said: “Fr. Cross said himself after my remarks today, ‘Let them rest in peace’.”

Continuing, Brendan said: “Release them, let them rest, and for peace from your point of view, let them rest. It’s easier said than done.

“I would say to talk as much as they can, and [to have] a bit of self-empathy, to be easy on themselves, not to expect too much of themselves physically or mentally for a while.”

He added: “Nobody’s expected to have resilience to deal with a tragedy like that. We should be resilient enough to deal with most things in our daily life, but I don’t think it’s expected that we’d be able to deal with that.”

Reflecting on his own experience, and his family’s experience of the loss of Ógie, he said: “I suppose the first thing when I hear of a tragedy of a young person[‘s loss], be it a road traffic accident or a sports-related accident, I just think of the torture, the grief, and those initial steps that the parents or siblings have to go through, because then I could walk every step of the way with them.”

Speaking of his son, Brendan said: “I don’t mind shedding a tear; it keeps me close to him – it sort of emphasises the love that I had for him.

“He gave us great days of joy on the field [for both Monaghan Harps GAA and the County Monaghan team]. My wife was on a pilgrimage at Medjugorje, and when I told her [that Ógie had died], she said, ‘Wasn’t it marvellous the 19 beautiful years we had with him’.”

It’s that moving message of hope and resilience from Brendan’s touching words that will surely endure with all who heard them at the Graan.